این چیزها را از دیگران توقع نداشته باشید

مجله تفریحی سرگرمی دخترونه

این چیزها را از دیگران توقع نداشته باشید

تا وقتی خودتان را درک می‌کنید، نیازی نخواهید داشت که از دیگران تأییدیه بگیرید

 

دکترصفایی مقدم: همه آدم‌ها مسیر زندگی شما را درک نمی‌کنند. اشکالی ندارد، زندگی آنها نیست که آن را بفهمند، زندگی شما است. تا وقتی خودتان را درک می‌کنید، نیازی نخواهید داشت که از دیگران تأییدیه بگیرید.

  

۱. توقع نداشته باشید که همه کارها را طبق استانداردهای شما «درست» انجام دهند. 

اخلاقیات آدم‌ها براساس عوامل مختلف با هم متفاوت است، عواملی مثل تربیت، فرهنگ، اعتقادات معنوی و از این قبیل. 

 

بعنوان مثال، ممکن است شما اهل مهمانی نباشید اما دوست‌تان مدام در مهمانی‌ها است.

 

این باعث نمی‌شود آدم بد یا خوبی باشد البته ممکن است طبق استاندارد بعضی‌ها اینکار خوب نباشد اما اینکه توقع داشته باشید آنطور که استاندارد شما است رفتار کنند، فقط باعث ناامیدی شما خواهد شد.

 

فقط سعی کنید که خودتان به استانداردهای خودتان پایبند باشید و اجازه بدهید دیگران هم استانداردهای خودشان را برای زندگی داشته باشند.

 

۲. توقع نداشته باشید که کامل باشند. 

این وسواس برای کامل بودن موجب افسردگی، اضطراب، بیماری‌های مزمن و خطر اقدام به خودکشی می‌شود.

 

اجازه بدهید دیگران اشتباه کنند و از اشتباهاتشان درس بگیرند. به این فکر کنید که اگر هیچکس اشتباه نمی‌کرد دنیا واقعاً چه شکلی می‌شد. 

 

همه ما ربات‌هایی سرد و بی احساس بودیم که هیچ لذتی را در زندگی تجربه نمی‌کردیم.

  

۳. توقع نداشته باشید که با همه حرف‌هایتان موافق باشند. 

تصور کنید اگر با استفاده از سوخت فسیلی برای راه انداختن ماشین‌هایمان، خانه‌ها یا هر چیز دیگر موافق بودید چه بلایی سرمان می‌آمد.

 

اگر این اختلافات عقیده‌ای نبود امروز ماشین‌ها برقی و انرژی خورشیدی نداشتیم.

  

۴. توقع نداشته باشید که فکرتان را بخوانند. 

بعضی‌ها بینش قوی‌تری دارند اما خیلی‌ها قادر به فهمیدن احساس یا نگاه شما نیستند.

 

اینکه شما نسبت به احساس دیگران حساس‌تر هستید به این معنی نیست که بقیه هم باید همه چیز را از نگاه شما بخوانند.

 

همه دوست ندارند روانشناس باشند، به همین دلیل خودتان را خیلی روشن و واضح ابراز کنید تا دیگران مجبور نشوند که فکر و احساستان را حدس بزنند!

 

گفتگوی صادقانه و آزاد روابط مستحکم‌تری می‌سازد.

 

از دیگران توقع نداشته باشید که همه کارها را طبق استانداردهای شما انجام دهند

 

۵. توقع نداشته باشید که هر بار زمین خوردید، بلندتان کنند. 

البته دوستان و خانواده خوب وقتی نیاز داشته باشید به کمک شما می‌آیند اما برای پاک کردن خاک روی لباستان از آنها توقع نداشته باشید.

 

آن‌ها هم مشکلات درونی خودشان را دارند و نمی‌توانند هم وزن مشکلات شما و هم مشکلات خودشان را تحمل کنند.

 

می‌خواهند کمکتان کنند اما نه همیشه و نه در همه زمان‌ها.

 

این به آن معنی نیست که به شما اهمیت نمی‌دهند، این یعنی گاهی باید خودتان به تنهایی بار مشکلات و چالش‌هایتان را به دوش بکشید.

  

۶. توقع نداشته باشید که درکتان کنند. 

«همه آدم‌ها مسیر زندگی شما را درک نمی‌کنند. اشکالی ندارد، زندگی آنها نیست که آن را بفهمند، زندگی شماست.».

 

تا وقتی خودتان، خودتان را درک می‌کنید، نیازی نخواهید داشت که از دیگران تأییدیه بگیرید.

 

۷. توقع نداشته باشید که آنطور که شما با آنها رفتار می‌کنید با شما رفتار کنند. 

تا زمانیکه همه آدم‌ها باملاحظه‌تر شوند، باید بپذیریم که با ما بد رفتار کنند چون هنوز نمی‌توانند رابطه درستی حتی با خودشان داشته باشند.

 

با دیدی مهربانانه به رفتار آنها نگاه کنید تا اگر آن اندازه که شما با آنها مهربان هستید، با شما مهربان نبودند، ناراحت و ناامید نشوید.

  

۸. توقع نداشته باشید که همان آدمی بمانند که یک سال پیش بودند. 

آدم‌ها برحسب تجربیات و شرایط زندگی‌شان به‌مرور زمان تغییر می‌کنند.

 

همه آدم‌ها هر روز در جنگی سخت دست‌وپنجه نرم می‌کنند و هیچ‌کس جز خودشان واقعاً آن را درک نمی‌کند.

 

پس وقتی می‌خواهید قضاوت‌شان کنید، این را به یاد داشته باشید.

 

آدم‌ها را با همه تغییراتی که داشته‌اند دوست داشته باشید، نه‌فقط وقتی با ایده آل‌ها و استانداردهای شما همخوانی داشته باشند.

  

۹. توقع نداشته باشید که همیشه همه‌چیز را باهم داشته باشند. 

توپ ترکش زندگی هرازگاهی به همه می‌خورد و برای آدم‌های مختلف جمع‌وجور کردن خودشان ممکن است زمان متفاوتی طول بکشد.

 

به دیگران محبت داشته باشید و درک کنید که همه آدم‌ها همیشه همه تلاش‌شان را می‌کنند.

 

سعی کنید ارزش بیشتری به دنیا و به روابط‌تان بدهید و سعی نکنید دیگران را در اداره زندگی‌شان کنترل کنید.

  

۱۰. اگر خودتان به خودتان عشق نداده‌اید، توقع نداشته باشید که به شما عشق بورزند. 

همه روابط با شما شروع‌ شده و با شما تمام می‌شود. 

به همین دلیل اگر می‌خواهید کسی به شما عشق بورزد، باید اول عاشق خودتان باشید. 

«یادتان نرود که اول عاشق خودتان شوید.»

 

 منبع: سلامت نیوز

 

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

۲۱ دیدگاه
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    As a final result of the New Zealand Christchurch earthquakes
    ۲۰۱۰-۲۰۱۲, additional and much more Canterbury policyholders are hard cash
    settling their earthquake claims. Insurers began to aggressively go after hard cash settlement in 2014 in an attempt to
    hard cash settle as numerous statements as attainable.
    As a consequence of the slowness of Insurers to settle residence statements, the annoyed, pressured and impatient policyholders
    are at danger of accepting funds settlements with no
    thought for the escalation allowance between the time of accepting the settlement present and the time the building deal has been precisely
    assessed and priced. Increase to this the unseen harm and un-costed foundations
    coupled with likely hyperinflation in resources
    and labour (demand from customers surge) as the recovery phase post earthquakes accelerates.
    This a very relating to improvement and any house owner wanting to hard
    cash settle must feel critically before coming into into any this sort of arrangement.
    ۱ really should at minimum seek out impartial legal or specialized advice.

    At a minimum amount make absolutely sure that you comprehend the
    difference between entire reinstatement prices (precise charges connected with making a like-for-like household) compared to indemnity benefit (industry value of the property in undamaged problem).
    For you the property owner there is a significant danger of unfunded charge overruns as repairs or rebuilds are scoped to a “notional”
    claims posture somewhat than to precise charge of the repair or rebuild.
    Insurers and their Task Management Corporations are making “greatest guess”
    allowances for foundations, specially on damaged land, and price overruns can be tens of hundreds of pounds out.

    A income settlement signifies the ‘Actual
    cash value” of the loss which is the reduce worth of applied assets in contrast to new e.g. toilet cupboards that are 10 a long time previous are truly worth significantly less than new kitchen cabinets, so their real hard cash price is a lot less than the price of new cupboards. House owners, in get to be absolutely guarded, have ordinarily acquired full-replacement policies in a lot of situations which are developed to pay back the full expense of substitution even if the cost is of higher value than the item’s present worth. Underneath a alternative-value coverage, the home owner is entitled to new lavatory cabinets rather than the variance among the real income price of the aged cabinets and the selling price of new kinds.

    Cash settlement is the predicament in which your private insurance provider pays you a sum of revenue in settlement of your insurance policy declare. You then make the final decision to invest the funds by either participating contractors oneself to restore or rebuild your home, issue to any limits positioned on the terms of the settlement by the non-public insurance provider or loan company. If there is a home finance loan on the residence, then acceptance from the mortgagee will be necessary.

    Also observe that if you must select to income settle, the insurance policy plan on your present-day dwelling will be reviewed and could be cancelled as portion of that final settlement. The settlement total is the cost to reinstate your house significantly less any insurance plan excesses still owing.

    The big variation amongst the two is this: in a replacement plan a house’s alternative value expense is established by the construction business – in a dollars settlement policy a house’s value is set by the true estate market.

    Coverage organizations know from knowledge that lots of homeowners are naive or ignorant about the claims process and are apt to acknowledge the very first give produced to them. Frequently the home-owner is led to imagine that they can have the required function performed for considerably less than the insurer is supplying. It is not unheard of adjusters suggesting the house owner do the perform by themselves and pocket the change. Try to remember that the only selling price that is valid in insurance restore and reinstatement is the price that the specialists who are to undertake the do the job concur to perform for!!

    Insurers normally spend previous contractors/quantity surveyors to provide estimates when it is so clearly obvious that contractors would in no way be able to do the occupation for the sums indicated. Their intent is to simply present the insurance provider with 3rd celebration ‘credibility’ by providing a number that the insurer/adjuster can use to negotiate with the property owner. For this reason it is essential that owners have published bids/offers from highly regarded contractors who will be carrying out the do the job for those people quantities. Do not settle for estimates. They are simply ‘guesses’. For case in point, painting is just about normally included in insurance coverage losses and much more normally than not adjusters use a flat charge for each square meter. Think about the next state of affairs. A chook has fallen down your earthquake weakened chimney and lined itself in soot and coated quite a few of your higher specification painted partitions and ceilings with soot. The place is then calculated by the adjuster and the square meterage calculated. He lets say $340.00 and tells you this is what the insurer will enable for. But what he does not inform you is that in his calculation he has failed to calculate a pile of other items. Portray not often includes simply implementing paint to the wall. What about the excellent of paint, the issue of the walls, planning for portray, nooks and crannies, furniture elimination, switches, lighting fixtures, shelving, doors, windows, mouldings, wall hangings, elimination/substitution of curtains and the record goes on. Any of these items will significantly modify the rate for portray this room. If all of these merchandise had been bundled in the quotation as they ought to have been, then the sum would seem noticeably different from the one particular the adjuster estimates. Still you the homeowner are going to have to spend that latter sum when you go to fix your household. None of these goods can be established around the cellphone or computed using a distinct amount of money per sq. meter. Nor do the insurer’s ‘estimate personal computer programmes’ let for them.

    In order to determine a genuine price tag the painter would have to come and examine the perform included, establish what is needed (to fulfill you) and then present a specific quotation for you to take. The exact same will be needed for all other locations in the property that demand perform.

    The calculation of the sum will rely on the insurance policy policy. For this cause legal tips is advisable. Extra likely than not, the sum supplied to you will only be the insurer’s ‘estimate’ of what it will price to maintenance or rebuild (if a full financial decline) your house. The suitable predicament is to have your personal impartial valuation, evaluation or appraisal of the assets. The insurer does not have the sole proper to advise you of what you are entitled to. Insurers will attempt to use “fictional” repairs to justify smaller sized payouts. In simple fact there are these gurus who would say that if there is structural problems never consider a cash offer. Neither you nor the insurance provider can be guaranteed of all the injury and building restoration needed. If their cash provide is quick of a realistic fix or replacement the distinction is YOUR reduction and the insurers profit and that is not why you purchased your coverage.

    If you cash settle you will come across the following problems:

    Added benefits of Income settlement:

    you will have total management of your repair or rebuild which might pace the system up but this will also necessarily mean – you will have to challenge manage oneself, you will will need to organise your possess contract perform coverage and you will bear the hazard of price tag overruns and well as specialized and other task challenges. If the insurance policies organization chooses the contractor, you have the insurance policy enterprise to drop back on if the contractor fails to comprehensive the career or fails to deliver excellent operate.

    you might find it much easier to integrate non- earthquake repairs or renovations

    Challenges Affiliated with Money Settlement:

    You will have to challenge control oneself. You will have to have to organise your possess contract do the job insurance policy and you will bear the possibility of expense overruns and properly as technical and other venture challenges. You may have to shell out for specialist project administration

    Your insurance provider may only be well prepared to shell out you for ‘like-for-like’ rather than for ‘as-new’ repair service or rebuild which will imply that you simply cannot swap what you experienced in modern revenue as costs will have risen

    If more earthquake harm is discovered in the course of your maintenance you will have to re-enter conversations with your insurance company – it is for this purpose that householders should really not sign complete and last settlements with their insurance provider

    You will be accountable for any shortfall in the condition the place your repair service or rebuild charges are additional than your money settlement simply because of desire surge and growing design prices

    If you make your mind up not to fix or rebuild, your insurance policy include might very well be compromised and foreseeable future sale of the property could also be compromised

    Do not presume that the sum the insurance company offers you with is satisfactory – e.g. unidentified damage will not have been taken into account. In the situation of substitution or whole reduction, a very low valuation furnished by a valuer who might be on retention by the insurance policies enterprise will not mirror the correct benefit of the home. Also be mindful of extremely optimistic estimates by builders and maintenance organizations who have no actual intention of performing the operate on their own

    In the Christchurch situation two of the most significant unseen challenges in dollars settlement are settlement of the developing in relation to the Christchurch City Council’s flood amounts, and lateral motion of the setting up in relation to the authorized boundaries. In get to figure out both equally of these against an insurance policy policy entitlement it necessitates a thorough survey assessment to establish how much the creating has settled in top, and how significantly the building has moved in relation to the lawful boundaries

    Without the need of realizing both of those of these, proprietors that have hard cash settled are locating to their dismay that their house is now considered flood-vulnerable and un-insurable, and, in some instances, their dwelling is also now over the legal boundary and encroaching into the neighbours residence. No cash settlement amount of money for beauty (or even structural) repairs will offer the resources to have the complete building lifted again up in top and moved again into the proper situation as demanded by the legal entitlement less than a whole alternative insurance plan

    It is prudent that impartial assessments by all of the expected industry experts are obtained by the homeowner prior to even considering a funds-settlement. Unless of course of study course, the Insurance company takes the threat and the hard cash settlement is for a overall rebuild of the residence to plan entitlement. That then would just take away any danger transfer again to the owner.

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