جملاتی که حالِ مردان را می‌گیرد

مجله تفریحی سرگرمی دخترونه

جملاتی که حالِ مردان را می‌گیرد

گرم کردن رابطه زناشویی

می توانید رابطه ای بهتر و بادوام تر با شریک زندگی تان برقرار کنید‎

 

حتما برای شما هم پیش آمده که در حین حرف زدن با مرد زندگی تان جملاتی گفته باشید که او ناراحت شود یا احساس ناامنی کند. شاید خودتان هم متوجه نشوید اما برخی از حرف ها تاثیر زیادی روی آقایان می گذارد به طوری که از رابطه شان ناامید می شوند. با دانستن این که چه حرف هایی آنها را می آزارد، می توانید رابطه ای بهتر و بادوام تر با شریک زندگی تان برقرار کنید.

 

تو حسودی 

حتی اگر احساس کردید که شریک زندگی تان فرد حسودی است، نباید آن را مستقیما به رویش آورید. راههای بهتری هم برای انتقاد کردن از او هست. در این شرایط شما باید کاری کنید که اوضاع بهتر شود، نه بدتر. بنابراین اگر به این باور رسیدید که همسرتان به کسی یا چیزی حسودی می کند، به او بگویید که جای نگرانی نیست. حتی اگر او حسادت اش را به شیوه بدی بروز داد، تا آرام شدن او صبر کنید، سپس همه چیز را برایش توضیح دهید تا نگرانی هایش به پایان برسد.

  

اگر در این شرایط نبودم، می توانستم… 

همسر شما نباید احساس کند که مانع از پیشرفت شما یا رسیدن به اهداف و علاقمندی هایتان شده است. این فکر به او حس ناامنی می دهد. به عنوان مثال اگر به او بگویید که بدون او حس بهتری دارید، در واقع او را در مورد رابطه تان نگران کرده اید. او پس از این حرف شما ممکن است احساس کند که دیگر جایی در این رابطه ندارد. 

 

اگر واقعا احساس می کنید که از علاقمندی هایتان دور افتاده اید، به دنبال راهی برای به دست آوردن آنها باشید و از همسرتان بخواهید که  شما را در این راه یاری کند. حتی اگر از او انتظار دارید که تغییری به شرایط فعلی دهد، رک و رو راست از او بخواهید. شما نیز به او پیشنهادهایی را که می خواهید، بدهید تا راه برای هر دویتان هموارتر شود.

  

مرد باش 

اکثر مردها از بروز احساسات شان سر باز می زنند. آنها در مواقع ناراحتی و افسردگی ماسکی به صورت خود می زنند تا دیگران از راز دورنی شان باخبر نشوند. اما اگر شما می خواهید که رابطه شاد و موفقی داشته باشید، باید کاری کنید که او احساساتش را با شما به اشتراک بگذارد. گفتن جمله «مرد باش» حس ناامنی به مرد زندگی تان می دهد و باعث می شود که او از آن پس پیش شما هم خودسانسوری کند. در واقع او فکر می کند که گریه کردن، درد و دل کردن یا ناراحت بودن، از قدرت مردانه اش در نگاه شما می کاهد.

 

به جای این که قدرت را از همسرتان بگیرید، کاری کنید که او نیمه پنهان درونی اش را پیش شما آشکار کند. از ناراحتی، عصبانیت و اشک های او حمایت کنید تا در کنار شما حس امنیت بیشتری داشته باشد.

 

تو به حرف هایم گوش نمی دهی 

گاهی شما از همسرتان تنها انتظار دارید که به حرف هایتان گوش دهد و زمانی که او مابین حرف هایتان پیشنهادی به شما می شود، عصبانی می شوید و او را متهم می کنید که به حرف های شما گوش نمی دهد. دادن پیشنهاد یا نصیحت کردن اصلا به این معنی نیست که او حواسش جای دیگر است، این تنها بدین معنی ست که او به شیوه خود به شما گوش می کند، نه شیوه ای که شما می خواهید.

 

در واقع زمانی که مرد زندگی تان پس از شنیدن حرف های شما، پیشنهادی می دهد که ممکن است با طرز فکر شما جور نباشد، بدین معنی است که او همه تلاشش را برای گوش کردن تان کرده است. پیشنهاد دادن یا نصیحت کردن نیز از نظر او نشانه ای از اهمیت دادن به حرف های شماست. بنابراین با گفتن «تو به حرف هایم گوش نمی دهی» او را ناراحت نکنید. در عوض به او بگویید که تنها دو گوش شنوا برای دردودل هایتان، بدون هیچ تفسیر و انتقادی، می خواهید.

 

ارتباط نزدیک زن و شوهر

اکثر مردها از بروز احساسات شان سر باز می زنند‎

 

تو هم مثل بقیه ای 

حتما شما مردهای زیادی را در زندگی تان دیده اید که رفتارهایی نسبتا مشابه از خود نشان می دهند. اما این دلیل قانع کننده ای نیست که همه مردها را در یک دسته بگذارید و به راحتی در موردشان قضاوت کنید، به خصوص اگر آن فرد، شریک زندگی تان باشد. همسر شما نباید احساس کند که شما او را با دیگر مردها مقایسه می کنید. در واقع او از این رفتار غیرمنصفانه شما رنجیده خاطر خواهد شد. جمله «تو هم مثل بقیه مردها هستی» این حس را به طرف مقابل تان می دهد که هیچوقت نمی تواند خودش را پیش شما ثابت کند. پس به جای مقایسه کردن همسرتان با دیگر مردها، سعی کنید که مشکلات تان را حل کنید.

  

دوست من فوق العاده است 

اگر شما یک دوست صمیمی از جنس مخالف دارید، باید موقع حرف زدن از او نزد همسرتان احتیاط کنید.  آقایان نه تنها افراد حسودی هستند بلکه نسبت به یکدیگر نیز حس رقابت دارند، بنابراین اگر شما مدام از دوست تان نزد او تعریف کنید، نه تنها حسادت او را بر می انگیزید، بلکه باعث می شوید که او خودش را با او مقایسه کند. همین حس رقابت، به او احساس ناامنی در رابطه را می دهد.

 

بنابراین برای این که به او ثابت کنید جای هیچ نگرانی نیست، از تعریف کردن مدام دوست تان نزد او بپرهیزید، به جایش به همسرتان بگویید که چقدر از رابطه با او خوشحال هستید. در واقع شما با گفتن این جمله، تمام انرژی های منفی را از او دور کرده اید.

 

درآمد خوبی نداری 

اگر به همسرتان در مورد درآمد مالی اش شکایت کنید، نه تنها خودتان را نزد او خودخواه و پول پرست نشان داده اید، بلکه حس عدم امنیت در رابطه را به او منتقل کرده اید.

 

مردها از این که تنها کیف پول زنان باشند، بیزارند. زمانی که شما به شریک زندگی تان می گویید که «تو درامد خوبی ندارید» در واقع به او ثابت می کنید که ارزش او به درامدش است. اما یادتان باشد که پول همه چیز نیست که اگر این گونه بود تمام افراد ثروتمند دنیا غرق در شادی بودند و هیچ مشکلی نداشتند. بنابراین به جای سرزنش کردن او، کمکش کنید تا شرایط مالی خود را بهبود بخشد. اگر درامد مالی بالا بخش مهمی در زندگی شماست، زمانی را به صحبت کردن با شریک زندگی تان، در مورد این که از چه راههایی می توان درآمد بیشتری داشت، اختصاص دهید.

  

چرا نمی توانی یک کار را درست انجام دهی 

اگر به همسرتان بگویید که او توانایی انجام هیچ کاری را ندارد، نه تنها به او کمکی نکرده اید، بلکه حس اعتماد به نفس را هم از او گرفته اید. گفتن این جمله نه تنها به شریک زندگی تان، بلکه به هر فرد دیگری اشتباه است.

 

به جای سرزنش کردن او، سعی کنید در جملات تان از واژه «من» استفاده کنید. به عنوان مثال، به جای این که بگویید «تو هیچ کاری را درست انجام نمی دهی» بگویید «این کار به من حس بدی می دهد». علاوه بر آن، به طور دقیق به او بگویید که چه چیزی شما را ناراحت کرده است، در این شرایط او نیز سعی می کند که با رفتار درستش ناراحتی شما را برطرف کند.

 

حرف نزدن 

همانطور که بیان برخی حرف ها حس ناامنی را به همسرتان منتقل می کند، گاهی حرف نزدن هم چنین شرایط مشابهی را بوجود می آورد. 

 

اگر مردی احساس کند که همسرش از او حمایت نمی کند، به او عشق نمی ورزد یا قدردان محبت و تلاش های او نیست، ناامید می شود. بنابراین همانطور که در حرف نزدن باید مراقب باشید، در سکوت کردن نیز باید احتیاط لازم را به خرج دهید. سعی کنید در هر شرایطی تعادل را حفظ کنید. به شریک زندگی تان این فرصت را بدهید تا بفهمد که چقدر برای شما ارزش دارد.

 

منبع: برترین ها

 

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

۲۰۷ دیدگاه
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