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طنز نوشته های کوتاه جدید و جالب (۹۰)

طنز نوشته های کوتاه

 

از زنان کشور های مختلف سوال شد…

اگر شوهرتون رو با زن دیگری ببینید با شوهرتون چیکار میکنید؟؟

زن سویسی : ازش میپرسم از چی من خوشش نیومده؟

زن روسی : خونه رو ترک میکنم…

زن ایتالیایی : اون زن رو میکشم…

زن اسپانیایی : شوهرم رو میکشم…

زن آمریکایی : جفتشون رو میکشم…

زن ایرانی : شوهر من از این کارها نمیکنه)

 

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جوک خیلی خنده دار

 

امروز ساعت دو ظهر داشتم از تشنگی میمردم

یک گدا دیدم داشت آب میخورد

گرفتم تا تونستم زدمش

گفتم ما برای درک وضع شما داریم روزه میگیریم. بعد شما خودتون آب میخورین

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

جوک های خنده دار

 

‏تنها خوبیه زن گرفتن اینه که وقتی واشر شیر آب را عوض میکنی؛ بالاخره یکی هست بهت افتخار کنه و‌  تو براش قیافه پیروزمندانه بگیری!!

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

جوکهای طنز و خنده دار

 

یه چیز ماه رمضون یادمه خیلی شیرین بود،اونم خواب بعد سحری بود.

وای به روزی که فرداش امتحان داشتیم تصمیم می‌گرفتیم نخوابیم

درس بخونیم.حقیقتا جهاد اکبر بود!

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

 طنز نوشته های زیبا

 

تنها برنامه بدردبخور گوشیم ماشین حسابشه،

  اونم واسه وقتایی که میرم دکتر،

 حساب کنم اگر هر ساعت ١۵ تا مریضو ویزیت کنه سر ماه چند کاسب شده!! 

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

طنز نوشته های کوتاه جدید و جالب

 

‏بعد از شیش ماه دوندگی تو این بانک اون بانک برای گرفتن وام ازدواج بالاخره امروز با لگد از بانک بیرونم کردن

  میگه اول باید ازدواج کنی بعد بیایی درخواست وام کنی

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

 طنز نوشته های زیبا

 

بابام گفت یه فیلترشکن ﻭاسم نصب میکنی؟

گفتم برﻭ کارنامه سوم راهنماییت و بیار اگر معدلت بالا بود چشم.

ﺍلان %۹۰ کوفتگی ﺩارم ولی انتقام اون سالهایی که گیر میدﺍد معدلت بالا باشه دوچرخه میخرم و گرفتم 

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

جوک جدید خنده دار

 

رفتم بهزیستی طرف گفت امرتون؟

گفتم اومدم برای چند تا بچه پدری کنم،گفت خیلی عالیه

  رفتم به چنتا بچه گفتم درس بخونید و کتکشون زدم و کولرم خاموش کردم

نمیدونم چرا

زنگ زدن حراست

 

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طنز نوشته های خنده دار

 

کل زندگیم تنها عبادتی که اول وقت انجام میدم…

افطار اول وقته

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

جوکهای طنز و خنده دار 

 

ما ایرانیا خودمونو دست کم می گیریم

.

.

وگرنه شما یه کنترل تلویزیون که باتریش ضعیفه رو ببر ژاپن.

اگر هیچ کدوم عقلشون رسید بکوبنش به دسته مبل تا شارژ بشه

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

 جوک های خنده دار

 

زنگ زدم به مامانم گفتم ناهار چی داریم؟ گفت همون سحری امروز صبح. گفتم سحری امروز صبح چی بود؟ گفت افطار دیشب. 

ترسیدم ادامه بدم برسم به نوروز.

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

طنز نوشته های کوتاه جدید

 

ﺗﻮﯼ ﻫﻤﺎﯾﺶ همسرداری، ﺳﺨﻨﺮﺍﻥ ﺍﺯ ﺧﺎﻧﻤﻬﺎﯼ ﺣﺎﺿﺮ ﺩﺭ ﺟﻠﺴﻪ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺖ ﺗﺎ

ﺩﺭ ﻫﻤﻮﻥ ﻟﺤﻈﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺷﻮﻫﺮﺍﺷﻮﻥ ﺑﺎ SMS ﺑﮕﻦ ” ﻋﺎﺷﻘﺘﻢ ” ﻭ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺟﻮﺍﺑﻬﺎﯼ

ﺭﺳﯿﺪﻩ ﺭﻭ ﺑﻠﻨﺪ ﺩﺭ ﺳﺎﻟﻦ ﺑﺨﻮﻧﻦ :

 ﺣﺎﻻ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻌﺪﺍﺩﯼ ﺍﺯ ﺟﻮﺍﺑﻬﺎ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﮐﻨﯿﺪ :

۱ . ﺑﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺑﻮﺩﯼ؟ !

۲ . ﻣﺘﻮﺟﻪ ﻣﻨﻈﻮﺭﺕ ﻧﻤﯿﺸﻢ؟

۳ . ﺑﺎﺯ ﻣﺎﺷﯿﻦ ﺭﻭ ﮐﺠﺎ ﮐﻮﺑﻮﻧﺪﯼ؟

۴ . ﭼﻘﺪﺭ ﭘﻮﻝ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺩﺍﺭﯼ ﺣﺎﺷﯿﻪ ﻧﺮﻭ

۵ . ﭼﯿﻪ ﺑﺎﺯ ﺍﻣﺸﺐ ﻣﺎﻣﺎﻧﺖ ﺍﯾﻨﺎ ﺩﻋﻮﺗﻦ ﺧﻮﻧﻤﻮﻥ؟

۶ . ﯾﻪ ﺭﺍﺳﺖ ﺑﺮﻭ ﺳﺮ ﺍﺻﻞ ﻣﻄﻠﺐ

۷ . ﯾﺎ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺑﺎﺯ ﭼﻪ ﺩﺳﺘﻪ ﮔﻠﯽ ﺑﻪ ﺁﺏ ﺩﺍﺩﯼ؟

۸ . ﺷﻤﺎ؟

ﯾﻌﻨﯽ ﻣﻦ ﻫﻼﮎ ﺍﯾﻦ ﺷﻤﺎﺭﻩ ۸ﺷﺪﻡ ﮐﻪ ﺍﯾﻨﻘﺪﺭ ﻋﺎﺷﻖ خانمشه

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

طنز نوشته های کوتاه

 

آیا ﻣﻴﺪﺍﻧﺴﺘﻴﺪ ساکنان کره ی مریخ ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﭘﺎﺷﻮﻥ ﭘﻴﭻ ﻣﻴﺨﻮﺭﻩ

ﺯﻣﻴﻦ ﻧﻤﻴﺨﻮﺭﻥ؟

.

.

ﻣﺮﻳﺦ ﻣﻴﺨﻮﺭﻥ!

نه خدایی میدونستید؟؟؟

این اطلاعاتو مفت میزارم دم دستتون یاد بگیرین دیگه

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

جوک خیلی خنده دار

 

دو تا تنبل دراز کشیده بودند یکیشون داشته خمیازه میکشیده

 اون یکی میگه داداش تا دهنت بازه لطفا این اصغر ما رو هم صدا کن

 

جوک های خنده دار, جوک خیلی خنده دار

طنز نوشته های کوتاه جدید و جالب

 

یادتون باشه هرگز به مشکلاتتون لبخند نزنید 

مشکلات شعور که ندارن

فکر می کنن شما خوشتون اومده 

میرن فامیلاشون هم میارن

 

 گردآوری:بخش سرگرمی دخترونه

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

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