لزوم شناخت دقیق تر در ازدواج

مجله تفریحی سرگرمی دخترونه

مشاوره ازدواج

افراد باید آمادگی ازدواج را داشته و به بلوغ اجتماعی و عاطفی رسیده باشند‎

 

کم نیستند دختر خانم ها و آقا پسرهایی که به محض فارغ التحصیل شدن از مدرسه و در بدو ورود به دانشگاه، فکر و خیال ازدواج و تشکیل زندگی مشترک را در سر می پرورانند. جوانان پر شوری که بعضا، زود ازدواج می کنند و زود طلاق می گیرند. این حکایت خیلی از زوج های جوان است که این روزها، ازدواج را بهانه ای برای با هم بودن و به هم رسیدن می بینند و وقتی این با هم بودن، برایشان عادی شد، قید زندگی مشترک را می زنند.

به نظر می رسد اگر سالهای طولانی تری هم بگذرد، ازدواج باز هم همان هندوانه دربسته است. این بار نه به خاطر غیرقابل پیش بینی بودن آن و بلکه گاهی  به خاطر کم ارزش تلقی شدن ان، از این عبارت استفاده می شود. زوج های جوان امروزی گاهی ازدواج را مثل یک هندوانه می بینند که اگر شیرین نبود، آن را پس می دهند و سراغ هندوانه دیگری می روند.
این قاعده شاید در روابط بی حد و مرز و بی قانون در جوامع غربی دیده شود اما پیوند محکمی مثل ازدواج، آن هم در جامعه و فرهنگ ما، از چنین مواردی فاصله دارد وخانواده، همواره به عنوان یک نهاد اجتماعی مهم مورد توجه بوده است. ها ندارد.

دکتر کردمیرزا، روانشناس می گوید: مردم کشورهای اروپایی هم آدم های بااخلاقی هستند. این گونه نیست که همدیگر را تجربه کنند سپس تصمیم بگیرند ازدواج کنند یا از یکدیگر جدا شوند. ازدواج موفق چند طبقه شاخص دارد که شامل شاخص جمعیت شناختی و تعامل میان دو زوج می شود. این روانشناس به تعریف معیارهایی برای دستیابی به یک ازدواج موفق و پایدار اشاره کرده است که در ادامه آنرا مشاهده می کنید..

شرایط یک ازدواج موفق و پایدار
– افراد باید آمادگی ازدواج را داشته و به بلوغ اجتماعی و عاطفی رسیده باشند که معمولاً به طور میانگین برای دختران سن ۲۲ سال به بعد و برای پسران سن ۲۴ سال به بعد در نظر گرفته می شود. افرادی که زیر ۲۰ سال ازدواج کرده اند و به بلوغ عاطفی و اجتماعی نرسیده اند، معمولاً ازدواج موفقی ندارند، اما این یک نسخه کلی نیست و موارد متعددی هم بوده اند که در این سنین ازدواج کرده و نتیجه موفقی را به دنبال داشته باشند اما به طور کلی شرایط سنی در ازدواج موضوع بسیار مهمی است.

در زیرشاخه شاخص جمعیت شناختی، مسئله کفو بودن بسیار مهم است و مورد دوم برای شرایط ازدواج موفقنام برده می شود. اگر زوجین در شرایط اجتماعی، اقتصادی، تحصیلاتی و … هم طبقه و هم کفو باشند، ازدواج موفق تری خواهند داشت.

موقعیت و فضای آشنایی طرفین مهم است. اگر در فضای مجازی آشنا شوند و در همان فضا به ادامه رابطه تا حد ازدواج ادامه دهند، معمولاً دچار خطا می شوند بنابراین بهتر است جوانان از کسانی که در فضای واقعی هستند، مورد ازدواج خود را انتخاب کنند که در حال حاضر به دلیل گسترش استفاده از فضای مجازی در زندگی افراد، رابطه های زیادی به این فضا منتقل شده که آفات بسیاری به دنبال دارد.

مهم ترین راز خوشبختی و داشتن یک ازدواج موفق، شناخت طرفین از یکدیگر است. منابع شناخت معمولاً مختلف است، اما کمک بزرگی به تشکیل یک خانواده موفق می کند.

 

مشاوره ازدواج

 مهم ترین راز خوشبختی و داشتن یک ازدواج موفق، شناخت طرفین از یکدیگر است

 

منابع شناخت در ازدواج
ما در ازدواج با شیء روبه رو نیستیم. نمی توانیم طوری برخورد کنیم که هیچ گونه حق انتخابی نداریم. برای انسان که تا انتهای و پایان عمرش نیازمند خوشبختی است، انتخاب طرف مقابل بسیار مهم است. اگر فردی حتی یک شب از عمرش را با خوشبختی سپری نکند، باخته است..

چند شاخص ضریب ازدواج موفق را بالا می برد، اما نیازمند طی مراحلی است. ابتدا باید فرد از بافت مطمئنی انتخاب شده باشد. آشنایی در دانشگاه با آشنایی در یک مهمانی یا فضای مجازی بسیار متفاوت است علاوه بر آن انتخاب، از منابع مطمئن و شناخت ه شده صورت گیرد. استفاده از تمام منابعِ در دسترس، شناخت را کامل تر می کند.

برای شناخت بیشتر باید به این موارد توجه کنید:
– از خانواده های طرفین برای شناخت بیشتر استفاده شود. اگر در محلی کار می کند، در محل کار درباره وی پرس و جو شود.

– اگر طلاق گرفته است، درباره علل و دلایل جدایی او تحقیق شود و لازم است از مشاور ازدواج کمک بگیرند. در واقع هر چه منابع شناخت بیشتر باشد، ضریب موفقیت بالاتر می رود. به طور کلی مراجعه به مشاور در دوران قبل از ازدواج بسیار مهم است و در دستیابی طرفین به شناخت از یکدیگر اثر زیادی دارد..

– در ازدواج دقت کنید که باید فرد از بافت مطمئنی انتخاب شده باشد. آشنایی در دانشگاه با آشنایی در یک مهمانی یا فضای مجازی بسیار متفاوت است.

چند نکته ضروری
پیش از اینکه از انتخاب مطمئن شوید، از رابطه جسمی و حسی پرهیز کنید. افرادی که معمولاً پیش از ازدواج رابطه جسمی برقرار کرده اند، ضریب ازدواج موفق پایین تری  دارند. .

به حس خود احترام بگذارید. صرفاً به دلیل امکاناتی که طرف مقابل دارد، تصمیم نگیرید و تنها به آن فکر نکنید. پیش از آنکه به طرف مقابل اعتماد کنید، از حس خود نسبت به آن فرد مطمئن باشید، سپس برای ازدواج گام بردارید.

مسئولیت انتخاب خود را بر عهده بگیرید و برای دلِ کسی یا حرف مردم ازدواج نکنید که این مهمترین و سرنوشت سازترین تصمیم زندگی شماست.

 

منبع: ایران وی

 

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

۱۸۸ دیدگاه
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