معیارهای انتخاب همسر مناسب برای پسران و دختران را اینجا بخوانید!

معیارهای انتخاب همسر مناسب برای پسران و دختران را اینجا بخوانید!

انتخاب همسر مناسب

انتخاب همسر مناسب  یکی از بزرگترین و شاید مشکل ترین انتخاب های زندگی است

 

انتخاب همسر مناسب برای هر دختر و پسری یکی از بزرگترین و شاید مشکل ترین انتخاب های زندگی است. شما هم اگر به دنبال معیارهای انتخاب همسر مناسب هستید، پیشنهاد می کنیم خواندن این مقاله را از دست ندهید.

 

امروزه، ما با انتخاب‌های بی‌شماری مواجه هستیم. برخلاف دوران گذشته، با حق انتخاب‌های فراوانی مواجه هستیم. حتی برای خریدن یک «جوراب» هم از بین چند نوع مختلف، بهترین جوراب را انتخاب می‌کنیم. انتخاب همسر خوب هم یکی از مهم‌ترین انتخاب‌هایی است که ما در طول زندگی خود انجام می‌دهیم. در دوران گذشته و فضای سنتی حاکم بر آن زمان‌ها، انتخاب همسر جزو انتخاب‌های ما محسوب نمی‌شدند و غالباً، این والدین بودند که یک دختر و پسر را برای هم انتخاب می‌کردند.

 

اما امروزه، دختران و پسران این حق را برای خود قائل می‌شوند که خودشان باید همسر آینده‌ی خود را انتخاب کنند. البته، کاملاً حق با آن‌هاست. به این دلیل که نتیجه‌ی این انتخاب، تا سال‌ها با فرد همراه خواهد بود و مسئولیت تمام پیش‌آمدها با خود فرد است. اگر بخواهیم معنای حقیقی انتخاب را در نظر بگیریم، هیچ‌کسی واقعاً خودش همسر خودش را انتخاب نمی‌کند. بلکه این زندگی و موقعیت‌ها هستند که افراد را در سر راه ما قرار می‌دهند.

 

حالا از بین آن افراد اگر از کسی خوشمان آمد، به او درخواست ازدواج می‌دهیم که البته باید مورد موافقت طرف مقابل هم قرار بگیرد. پس، این انتخاب با انتخاب‌های دیگر تفاوت‌های اساسی دارد و نیازمند دقت و توجه بیشتری است. شاید بپرسید که باید از کجا شروع کنیم؟ اول از همه توصیه می‌کنیم که تمام رمان‌های عاشقانه‌ای که خوانده‌اید و فیلم‌هایی که دیده‌اید را فراموش کنید. عاقلانه و بدون هیچ عجله‌ای تمام جوانب را بسنجید و بعد از آن، قدم در راه این انتخاب بگذارید.

  

عشق قبل از ازدواج؟

ما نمی‌خواهیم بگوییم که قبل از ازدواج عاشق نشوید! اول با یک دید عاقلانه درمورد هر گزینه فکر کنید. ببینید که آیا طرف مقابل خصوصیت‌های تبدیل شدن به یک همسر مناسب را داراست یا خیر؟ اگر قبل از نگاه عاقلانه، عاشق کسی شوید و بعداً متوجه شوید که او برای همسری شما مناسب نبوده؛ با شکست سنگین عاطفی مواجه خواهید شد که ممکن است تا سال‌ها کام شما را تلخ کنند. یا این‌که ممکن است شما عاشق کسی شوید؛ ولی او عاشق شما نشود!

  

همسران امروز، والدین فردا

بهتر است که در انتخاب همسر خود، خودخواهانه عمل نکنید! زندگی شما با همسرتان، فقط محدود به امروز و ۲ نفر انسان نمی‌شود. آینده‌ی زندگی خود را هم در نظر بگیرید. به فرزندانی فکر کنید که قرار است حاصل زندگی شما باشند. این فرزندان، برای برخورداری از یک زندگی خوب و رشدی بالنده، نیازمند والدین خوب هستند. پس، از الان به فکر فرزاندان خود هم باشید. در هنگام انتخاب همسر، علاوه بر در نظر گرفتن معیارهای شخصی، بررسی کنید که آیا طرف مقابل، می‌تواند مادر یا پدر خوبی برای فرزندان‌تان باشد یا خیر.

 

دوران سرنوشت‌ساز نامزدی

معمولاً قبل از هر ازدواج رسمی، افراد مدتی را به عنوان «نامزد» با همدیگر سپری می‌کنند. این دوران، بهترین زمان برای حل مسائل مختلف است. با رفت و آمدهای مختلف و آشنایی‌های به‌دست آمده از طرف مقابل، به‌راحتی می‌توانید به یک تفاهم و توافق برسید و برای آغاز رسمی زندگی خود آماده شوید. در غالب موارد، نامزدی مختوم به ازدواج می‌شود. اگر هم مشکلی در این فاصله رخ داد، به کمک همدیگر آن را رفع می‌کنند. اما اگر قضیه جدی‌تر بود؛ دوران نامزدی بهترین زمان برای جلوگیری از یک ازدواج اشتباه است!

  

خانم‌ها چطور همسر خود را انتخاب می‌کنند؟

هر خانمی، در اعماق وجودش می‌داند که همسر مناسب او کیست. پس چه کاری بهتر از این‌که مشخصات آن همسر را روی کاغذ بیاورید؟ یک لیست از مشخصات همسر دل‌خواه خود تهیه کنید و آن‌ها را به ترتیب اولویت و اهمیت مرتب کنید. این کار بسیار ضروری است و ما واقعاً انجام آن را توصیه می‌کنیم. چراکه یک تصویر جامع و کلی در اختیار شما خواهد گذاشت تا با دید بهتری نسبت به انتخاب همسر خود اقدام کنید.

 

سعی کنید در فرآیند ثبت مشخصات همسر خوب و ایده‌آل خود، اصلاً احساسی عمل نکنید. هرچند، احساس از چیزهای مهمی است که باید در لیست خود مورد توجه قرار دهید، ولی در نوشتن لیست کاملاً منطقی و به‌دور از بزرگ‌نمایی و احساس عمل کنید. به اولویت اهمیت این مشخصات هم بسیار دقت کنید. چراکه بسیاری از خانم‌ها، خواستگارهای زیادی را به‌خاطر دارا نبودن ویژگی‌های کم‌اهمیت رد می‌کنند و فرصت‌های ازدواج با یک همسر مناسب را برای خود محدود می‌کنند.

 

شما می‌توانید خودتان در زمینه‌ی انتخاب همسرتان فعالانه عمل کنید! سعی کنید اجتماعی باشید و در جمع‌های مختلفی حاضر شوید. لازم نیست در این جمع‌ها لزوماً مردی حاضر باشد. خانم‌هایی هستند که برای فرزندان خود به‌دنبال همسر هستند. این جمع‌ها می‌تواند مکانی باشد برای این‌که دایره‌ی انتخاب‌های خود را وسیع‌تر کنید.

  

آقایان چطور همسر خود را انتخاب می‌کنند؟

درست مثل خانم‌ها، لازم است که آقایان هم لیستی از مشخصات همسر خوب و ایده‌آل خود تهیه کنند و در فرآیند انتخاب آن را لحاظ کنند. ولی تفاوت‌هایی نیز در این زمینه وجود دارد که به آن‌ها خواهیم پرداخت. بزرگ‌ترین مشکلی که اکثر آقایان با آن مواجه می‌شوند، ترس از «پذیرفته نشدن» است. این موضوع، برای مردان خجالتی و درون‌گرا بسیار سخت‌تر خواهد بود. اگر در تصمیم خود جدی هستید و دوست دارید به چیزی که می‌خواهید برسید؛ کمی شهامت داشته باشید! با این حقیقت روبرو شوید که قرار است چندین بار رد شوید! این موضوع بسیار طبیعی و از دید متواضعانه بسیار هم خوب است! اجازه ندهید تجارب «رد شدن‌»، شهامت را از شما بگیرند. گاهی اوقات دختران شما را رد می‌کنند تا جدیت شما را امتحان کنند. آن‌ها می‌خواهند بدانند شما تا چه اندازه در تصمیم خود جدی هستید.

 

پس اگر واقعاً جدی هستید و می‌خواهید با او ازدواج کنید، دوباره درخواست خود را تکرار کنید. در بسیاری از موارد، مردان در دفعه‌ی دوم جواب مثبت می‌گیرند. پس، نگران چیزی نباشید و با شهامت تمام همسر اینده‌ی خود را پیدا کنید.

  

حرف آخر : ازدواج نیز، مثل هر انتخاب مهم دیگری نیازمند دقت فراوان است. همان‌طور که گفتیم، ازدواج یکی از مهم‌ترین تصمیم‌های زندگی شماست. پس، سعی کنید انتخابی هوشمندانه و با در نظر گرفتن تمام جوانب انجام دهید. مطمئن باشید که همسر خوب و مناسب برای شما در همین حوالی است و اگر کمی چشمان‌تان را برای دیدنش باز کنید، او را خواهید یافت!

  

منبع : yadaneh.com

 

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