مهمترین پیش نیازهای ازدواج

مجله تفریحی سرگرمی دخترونه

روانشناسی ازدواج

ازدواج مسئولیت و تعهد در قبال یک زندگی مشترک است

 

هر فردی بهترین شناخت را نسبت به خود دارد و چون بعضی از ویژگی ها در افراد باعث می شود که آنها نتوانند در زندگی مشترک به موفقیت دست یابند و علاوه بر مشکلاتی که برای خود به وجود می آورند همسرشان را نیز با چالش هایی جدی رو به رو می سازند.

به نظر می رسد اگر دختران و پسران جوان قبل از آغاز یک رابطه سعی داشته باشند ضعف ها و ویژگی های خود را بشناسند و حتی معیارها و اهداف زندگی خود را به طور مجدد و با هوشیاری بیشتر ترسیم نمایند، جلوی بسیاری از ازدواج های نا موفق و پر مشکل گرفته شود.

سلامت روان
سلامت روان اولین موضوعی است که در زندگی مشترک نقش به سزایی را ایفا می کند. عدم سلامت روانی نه تنها خود فرد را دچار مشکل می سازد بلکه اطرافیان را نیز آسیب پذیر می سازد. فردی که سلامت روان نداشته باشد در تمام کارکرد های اجتماعی و تعاملات خود با مشکل و اختلال مواجه است. این افراد در صورت ازدواج همسرشان را به شدت درگیر مشکلات خودشان می کنند و به کررات دیده شده است که این گونه از ازدواج ها به شکست می انجامد. پس اگر دارای مشکلی در این زمینه هستید قبل از این که تصمیم به ازدواج بگیرد در صدد درمان کامل خود برآید و بعد از به دست آوردن سلامتی کامل برای ازدواج اقدام کنید.

اعتیاد

اعتیاد یکی از بزرگترین دلایل فروپاشی نهاد خانواده است و شخص معتاد قطعاً توانایی اداره مناسب یک خانواده را ندارد و ممکن است همسر و فرزندانش را نیز به منجلاب اعتیاد بکشاند. افراد معتاد غالباً در خود تغییراتی چون خواب آلودگی، کاهش میل جنسی، افزایش پرخوری، بدبینی، پر حرفی و .. را احساس می کنند و باید بدانند که تمام این تغییرات احساس خوشبختی آنها را خواهد گرفت. پس اگر به هر نوعی از مواد اعتیاد دارید پای شخص دیگری را به زندگیتان باز نکنید و به امید اینکه بعد از ازدواج اعتیاد خود را ترک خواهید کرد پایه ای زندگی خود را بر ستون هایی سست بنا نکنید.

عدم مسئولیت پذیری
ازدواج مسئولیت و تعهد در قبال یک زندگی مشترک است پس اگر در خود احساس مسئولیت پذیری ندارید و نمی توانید در قبال خانواده ای که تشکیل داده اید و همسری که انتخاب کردید مسئول باشد و در زمان گرفتاری ها توانایی اداره خود را ندارید چه برسد به افراد دیگر برای ازدواج دست نگه دارید. شما غالباً دیگران را مسئول مشکلات زندگی خود می دانید و نمی پذیرید که خود شما هم در مشکلاتتان نقش داشته اید. شما باید توانایی اداره اقتصادی و عاطفی یک زندگی و مدیریت آن را داشته باشید تا بتوانید یک زندگی موفق را تجربه کنید.

 

دانستنی های قبل از ازدواج

سلامت روان اولین موضوعی است که در زندگی مشترک نقش به سزایی را ایفا می کند

 

خشم و پرخاشگری
اگر بر سر هر مسئله کوچکی از کوره در می روید و داد وبیداد به راه می اندازید و دست به یقه می شوید . اگر افکار هیجانی به شما هجوم می آورد و در قبال خانواده پدری و دوستانتان بد دهن و پرخاشگر هستید ابتدا باید بر روی خود کار کرده تا چنین صفت ناپسندی را در یک زندگی جدید با خود به همراه نداشته باشد . شما در واقع می خواهید با خشم خود دیگران را کنترل کنید و به همین دلیل افرادی که در کنار شما زندگی می کنند همواره باید در حال کنترل رفتار خود باشند تا مبادا شما را به خشم بیاورند. حال تصور کنید همسر آینده شما جه سختی هایی را باید در کنار شما تجربه خواهد کرد.

معیار و اهداف نادرست
اگر توانایی شناخت ویژگی ها و معیار های درست را ندارید بادیگران و حتی مشاوران خانواده مشورت کنید. اگر هدفتان از ازدواج رسیدن به پول و مادیات است، باید بدانید ممکن است به آن دست پیدا کنید اما هیچ گاه به خوشبختی زناشویی دست پیدا نخواهید کرد. و یا اگر معیارتان از انتخاب همسر چهره زیباست و هیچ ملاک دیگری را مد نظر ندارید باید بدانید ممکن است با انتخاب همسری زیبا که دارای سایر شرایط و ویژگی ها نیست سالها در کنار همسری زیبا اوقاتی ناخوشایند را تجربه کنید.

 

وابستگی
اگر درخود می بینید که به هیچ نحو قدرت تصمیم گیری ندارید و برای کوچکترین موردی مانند انتخاب لباس نیازمند حضور پدر و مادرتان هستید، و یا اگر از لحاظ اقتصادی کاملا به خانواده خود متکی هستید بدانید در آینده زندگی راحتی نخواهید داشت. ازدواج آغاز یک زندگی تازه است که فرد وابسته در آن چون توانایی جدا شدن و مستقل زندگی کردن را ندارد نمی تواند فردی قابل اعتماد و تکیه گاه مناسب برای همسر آینده اش باشد.

مشاوران مجرب
این موارد از صفات و خصوصیاتی است که اگر در فردی وجود داشته باشد باید توسط خود فرد پذیرفته شود تا بتواند بعد از برطرف کردن آن زندگی خوبی را آغاز نماید. برای برطرف کردن این مشکلات فرد باید از دیگران کمک بگیرد پس در این راه  حضور مشاوران و اعضای خانواده تان را مهم و حیاتی تلقی کنید.

 

منبع: تبیان

 

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

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