چطور از همسرتان درباره رفتارهای مشکوک سوال بپرسید؟

مجله تفریحی سرگرمی دخترونه

چطور از همسرتان درباره رفتارهای مشکوک سوال بپرسید؟

فن بیان مناسب در ابراز احساسات و خواسته هایمان، شاه کلید یک رابطه موفق است‎

 

همیشه زندگی مشترک نمی‌تواند روی یک خط صاف حرکت کند. به‌دلیل تفاوت‌های فردی، شما به هرحال با همسرتان در زمینه خاصی به چالش خواهید خورد و این امر بدیهی است.

 

ازدواج نیاز به مهارت‌هایی دارد که به کمک آنها شما بتوانید مسأله پیش آمده را به‌شکل یک بازی دو سر برد، پیش برید. پس فن بیان مناسب در ابراز احساسات و خواسته هایمان، شاه کلید یک رابطه موفق است.

  

در این رابطه در مورد فن بیان مناسب در زمان سلب اعتماد شما از همسرتان صحبت خواهیم کرد. گاهی ممکن است همسر شما به هر دلیلی رفتاری را از خود بروز داده باشد که به اعتماد شما خدشه‌ای وارد شود، مثلاً ماده مشکوکی در جیب کت او پیدا کنید یا هربار که گوشی او زنگ می‌خورد آن را از شما پنهان می‌کند یا با کسی مخفیانه در ارتباط است و زمانی که شما چیزی می‌پرسید، انکار می‌کند.

  

مسلماً در چنین موقعیتی نیاز به برخوردی داریم که هم طرف مقابل را وارد گارد دفاعی نکنیم و هم اینکه بتوانیم راه را برای مذاکره باز نگه داریم تا بتوانیم رابطه پویا و بالنده‌ای داشته باشیم. برخی سؤالات شما ممکن است همسرتان را وارد گارد دفاعی کند و منجر به ترک موقعیت و پرخاشگری از سمت او شود؛ مثلاً تصور کنید در زمان بروز فضای شک و تردید در رابطه‌تان شما از همسرتان بپرسید که: «چه توضیحی واسه این قضیه داری؟ چیزی که توی جیب کتت پیدا کردم چیه؟ چرا نمیگی این شماره چه کسی بود که افتاد روی گوشیت؟»

  

یک لحظه خودتان را به جای همسرتان تصور کنید! آیا در روبه‌رو شدن با چنین سؤالاتی، جواب‌های بی‌ربط یا پرخاشگری و ترک موقعیت از شما سر نمی‌زند؟!

  

حال به سؤالات زیر توجه کنید:

«یه مدتی هست که می‌خوام در مورد رابطه مون باهات صحبت کنم، نگران فاصله افتادن بینمون هستم.»

«حس‌های بدی رو دارم تجربه می‌کنم. احساس می‌کنم برات یه غریبه ام، تو برای این حس بد من چه پیشنهادی داری؟»

«نگران سلامتیت هستم آخه توی جیب کتت یه چیزی دیدم فکر می‌کنم‌ داری به خودت آسیب میزنی، از دست من کاری برمیاد؟!»

همان‌طور که می‌بینید این سؤالات خالی از قضاوت، پیشگویی و ذهن خوانی هستند و فردی که آنها را می‌شنود به جای اینکه گارد دفاعی بگیرد یا در مورد مسأله پیش آمده با شما به گفت‌و‌گو می‌نشیند یا اینکه صحبت‌های شما چند درصدِ هر چند ناچیز، او را به فکر فرو می‌برد و مطمئناً همین درصد‌های ناچیز، به مرور زمان، درصد زیادی از رابطه شما را به سمت بالندگی و رشد می‌کشاند.

همیشه این نکته را به خاطر داشته باشید که صحبت کردن، اگر فقط یک درصد تأثیر داشته باشد، از صحبت نکردن در مورد مسأله پیش آمده در رابطه‌تان، به مراتب بهتر است؛ کما اینکه همین مقدار کم، بخش زیادی از موفقیت رابطه را در گذر زمان تضمین می‌کنند.

 

منبع: سلامت نیوز

 

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