چگونه از خشم به یک حال خوب گذر کنیم؟

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چگونه از خشم به یک حال خوب گذر کنیم؟

هیچ چیز مثل یک آدم عصبانی و پریشان باعث ترس و نگرانی دیگران نمی‌شود‎

 

هیچ چیز مثل یک آدم عصبانی و پریشان باعث ترس و نگرانی دیگران نمی‌شود. با این حال خشم دائما در موقعیت‌های مختلف گریبان آدم‌ها را می‌گیرد.

 

توصیه کردن به دیگران برای اینکه خشمگین نباشند و یا آن را کنترل کنند کار ساده‌ای است اما واقعیت این است که در شرایطی که بسیاری از افراد به دلیل انواع فشارهای روحی، عاطفی و جسمی که ناشی دشواری‌های زندگی است دچار ناراحتی و استرس هستند توصیه‌‌ها ممکن است تاثیر گذار نباشند.

  

کم طاقتی در برابر مسائل ناخوشایند و از کوره در رفتن و خشمگین شدن به این معناست که شما نمی‌توانید از احساسات منفی‌ای که در درون خود گرفتارش شده‌اید خلاص شوید. این یک انرژی تخلیه نشده است که شامل احساسات و افکار منفی است که نیاز به آزاد شدن دارند. آدم خشمگین نسبت به خودش و دیگران احساس بدی دارد و آن را زمانی که شرایط مهیا باشد به بدترین شیوه ابراز می‌کند.

  

اما آیا می‌شود این خشم ناشی از احساسات منفی را به یک چیز خوب تبدیل کرد؟ آیا همیشه خشم به معنای ابراز احساسات منفی در جهت آزار و آسیب زدن به دیگران است؟

  

* نگرش مثبت به احساس خشم

خشم در همه موجوداتی که دارای احساس هستند وجود دارد و این احساس چیزی است که در روند تکامل شکل گرفته است. خشم چیزی است که موجود دارای احساس برای بقا به آن نیاز دارد. ما باید برای بقای خود به شکل موثری در موقعیت‌های مختلف واکنش نشان بدهیم. اگر ما احساس تهدید، حمله، ناامیدی و یا ضعف کنیم باید چیزی وجود داشته باشد که بتوانیم به کمک آن از وقوع حادثه ناخوشایند جلوگیری کنیم. خشم به ما کمک می‌کند تا بقا پیدا کنیم.

 

اما خشم نقش دیگری نیز در زندگی انسان‌ها دارد. جنیفر لارنر، روانشناسی که در حوزه خشم و ترس کار می‌کند می‌گوید خشم واکنشی است که در نهایت می‌تواند به شادی و رضایت افراد منجر شود. این یعنی یک فرد عصبانی در پس زمینه دیدگاهی مثبت نسبه به خطرات دارد که می‌تواند از آن برای تغییر عادات بد و سازگاری آن با یک عادت خوب استفاده کند.

  

* راز خشمی که می‌تواند به شیوه مثبت به کار برود

وقتی شما عصبانی و خشمگین هستید چیزی وجود دارد که احساس می‌کنید نادرست است و این مساله باعث عصبانیت و خشم شما شده است. خوب که فکر کنید متوجه می‌شوید که عامل خشم شما در واقع چیزی است که می‌خواهید تغییر کند چون آن را خوب نمی‌دانید. برای اینکه خشم به یک ابراز احساسات سهمگین تبدیل نشود باید یاد بگیرید که به جای توجه به عامل خشم به آنچه واقعا نیاز دارید توجه کنید.

 

این رئیس احمق شما نیست که باعث شده خشم خود را بر سر یک آدم بی‌ربط خالی کنید. چیزی که باعث شده شما عصبانی شوید این است که مثلا چیزی در رابطه کاری شما با رئیس باید تغییر کند. شما حق دارید نسبت به رفتار ناعادلانه‌ای که در محیط کار با شما شده است خشمگین باشید. اما از این انرژی ایجاد شده در درون خود برای تغییر مساله آزاردهنده استفاده کنید نه اینکه آن را بر سر دیگرانی که ربطی هم به موضوع ندارند خالی کنید.‏

 

خشم در همه موجوداتی که دارای احساس هستند وجود دارد‎

 

* تشخیص دلایل خشم

این که بخواهید همواره نسبت به دلایل خشم خود آگاه شوید کار ساده‌ای نیست. خیلی وقت‌ها خشم پنهان شما ناشی از عوامل مختلف به ظاهر کوچکی است که روی هم تلنبار شده است. با این حال این کار نشدنی نیست.

 

کافی است زمانی را صرف جستجوی عواطف، احساسات و افکارتان بکنید. به این فکر کنید که چه چیزهایی باعث آزار و اذیت‌تان شده است. روی آنچه باعث ایجاد احساسات ناخوشایند می‌شود تمرکز کنید و دلایل را پیدا کنید.

 

پس از آنکه متوجه شدید چه چیزهایی باعث خشم‌تان شده است برای تغییر شرایط اقدام کنید.مطمئن باشید برای هر شرایطی راهی وجود دارد. البته زمانی هست که راه‌حل‌ها وجود دارند و امکان تغییر وجود دارد اما این کار به سادگی انجام پذیر نیست چون نیاز به صرف زمان طولانی، پول و یا پذیرش ریسک‌های بزرگ دارد. اگر احساس می‌کنید نمی‌توانید به راحتی تغییری در مسیر زندگی تان ایجاد کنید خوب است که لااقل تمرین کنید با مدیتیشن، ورزش، انجام یوگا، تمرین کنترل تنفس، توجه به سلامت بدن و روان، انرژی منفی‌ای که در درونتان جمع شده است را تخلیه کنید. 

 

* از خشم برای ایجاد تعادل در تنش‌ها استفاده کنید

خشم همیشه با جروبحث و درگیری همراه است. اگر احساس می‌کنید هر زمان دچار خشم می‌شوید با دیگران درگیری‌های فیزیکی و لفظی پیدا می‌کنید این به معنای آن است که شما نیاز به خودآگاهی دارید. در این صورت باید یاد بگیرید که از روش‌های سودمند برای پیشگیری از تنش‌ها استفاده کنید.

 

باید تمرین کنید در آن هنگام آرامتر حرف بزنید، درست نفس بکشید، به موقع سکوت کنید و صدایتان را پایین بیاورید. شما ممکن است احساس کنید که برای کنترل خشم‌تان باید روی حالت‌های چهره، چشم‌ها و تکان دادن بدن نیز کار کنید.

 

علاوه بر این لازم است که همواره موضوعات را از منظر دیگران ببینید بدون اینکه بخواهید آنها را با پیش‌فرض‌های خود که معمولا از روی عصبانیت شکل گرفته‌اند قضاوت کنید. یادتان باشد که اگر کسی باعث خشم‌تان شده همیشه این کار را از روی عمد و با هدف آسیب زدن انجام نمی‌دهد.

 

بسیاری از آدم‌ها از عواقب حرف و رفتار خود آگاه نیستند. بسیاری از افراد به احساسات و خواسته‌های دیگران بی‌توجه هستند بنابراین اغلب بدون توجه دقیق کاری را می‌کنند یا حرفی را می‌زنند که باعث ناراحتی می‌شود. در یک دنیای ایده‌آل خوب بود که همه متوجه همه چیز بودند اما واقعیت این است که اینگونه پیش نمی‌رود.

  

* خشم انگیزه‌ای برای رشد

خشم می‌تواند یک مشکل باشد اما در هر صورت این بخشی از موجودیت شماست. اگر فکر می‌کنید به راحتی دچار خشم می‌شوید آن را به عنوان فرصتی در نظر بگیرید برای اینکه خودتان را بهتر بشنا‌سید.

 

این خشم به شما می‌آموزد که باید عادتی را در خودتان تغییر بدهید و آنقدر قوی شوید که به راحتی در برابر هر اتفاقی از کوره در نروید. آگاهی شما به خشم راهی است برای اینکه روی اعتماد به نفس خود کار کنید، این خشم می‌تواند فرصتی باشد برای اینکه به یک انسان صبور، قوی و خودآگاه تبدیل شوید. آدمی که احساساتش را می‌شناسد و می‌تواند آن را به نفع خودش به کار ببرد.‏

 

منبع: سلامت نیوز

 

مجلهتفریحیسرگرمیدخترونه

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